My own Calling

I just read the devotional for today from Pastor Stevens' The Bible Speaks from the Throne. It just broke my heart. The first sentence is "Never consider quitting God's business...Abide in your calling."
Sometimes its too much for my small mind to comprehend - that the God of the universe has a specific plan for the people living in this city, and that that same God has called us to be a part of that plan. I mean, I'm still in shock that I'm an adult... with a husband! much less being used by God in His unfathomable plan for the lost people that He loves so much. He is the One who has made it possible for Roger and I to be here right now, and as I sit here in our little apartment, waiting for Roger to get home from playing soccer, I let my mind look into the future - into what God is going to do in this country. I can't imagine anything greater, anything more humbling than to be able to be even the smallest part of it!
God has a plan for Istanbul, and WE are a part of it!! I never want to avoid my calling. I never want to get passive about lost souls. I never want to stop seeing Turkish people through the eyes of Christ. I never want to shirk my responsibility to abide in the calling by which I have been so clearly called.
I hope this doesn't seem like a heavy condemning post! Its really not! But it is convicting for me and I think that's so important. Its not enough just to be physically present in Turkey - I need to be available DAILY to be used by God in ways that I can't even begin to figure out. If I could save just ONE soul here - it would be the single most epic achievement of my life. Sorry if that sounds a little melodramatic... but if you think about it, what else could be greater?
I'm so grateful God keeps giving me opportunities, when I have probably just missed the last 50 He put right infront of me! :-)